it's like a buddy movie (only without the buddy part)
Chapter Four: Where’s the Fire?
Spike turned toward the door, ready to follow the others outside, but something made him stop, peer back over his shoulder at Dawn. “You two gonna be all right alone, niblet?” he asked gently. He took a step back into the room and studied her carefully.
Dawn looked puzzled. “Sure, why wouldn’t we be? Vast amounts of sugary goodness, sitting by the phone playing Command Central… I think the Cartoon Network might be involved at some point.” She smiled softly. “What more could a girl ask for?”
Spike dared a glance at the staircase, not wanting to think about what likely rested in a strange electric dream state up there.
That’s what more you could ask for, little one, he mused. The real big sis, ‘stead of just…
He shoved the disturbing image of the ‘bot away, swallowed hard, and nodded at Dawn. “Right, then. Well, y’know, be careful and such. Lock the door after us.”
“We’ll be fine, Spike,” Dawn assured him.
For a brief moment, Spike wanted to hug the girl, but he resisted and instead swept outside to meet the others.
God, I’m goin’ so bloody soft, he thought ruefully. Turnin’ into some poncy big brother sort. Pathetic tosser I’m becoming.
He comforted himself with the hope that with any luck, he’d soon get the chance to rip the demon’s antlered head from his neck. This notion put the spring back in his step, and Spike bounded out to the driveway, his eagerness renewed at the prospect of violence.
The others were already settled into Xander’s car, the back passenger door left open. He squeezed in beside Willow, who squeaked slightly.
“Can’t we take two cars?” she asked, scooting closer to Giles. “It’s a little cramped back here.”
Spike chuckled. “Oh, c’mon, Red,” he said with a grin. “Know you play for the other team now and whatnot, but it’s time you fessed up and admitted it. I’m the only bloke who gets your heart goin’ all a’flutter.”
Willow stifled a laugh. “Uh, okay, big no,” she said with amusement.
Spike winked at her and settled back comfortably in his seat.
“Ignore him,” Xander urged. He thrust the gearshift into reverse and backed out of the driveway. “There was some unfortunate memory lane strollage about that time he kidnapped us.”
Spike caught Xander’s eyes in the rearview mirror and glared at him.
“Why is there a scorch mark on the dashboard, sweetie?” Anya asked Xander.
“It’s not my fault the whelp doesn’t see fit to have an ashtray in here,” Spike spat out before Xander could reply.
Bugger, but it was going to be a long night.
When Xander pulled the car up to the cemetery gates, Spike was out of the vehicle before it had come to a complete stop, rushing toward the clearing even as Giles shouted at him to slow down.
“Spike! We’ve got to exercise a bit of prudence here! It’s uncertain how far the ritual has gone, and --”
“Shove it, Rupes,” Spike called. “No use wasting time.”
Much to Spike’s shock, it was Xander who caught up with him, tugging hard at his arm. “STOP!”
Spike drew back his arm to deck the boy, but Xander caught his fist.
“Which part of ‘let’s wait for weapons’ do you not get, man?!”
Spike growled. “You got no sodding clue how bad of an idea it is to get in my way right now, Harris.”
Xander backed up a step and held out his hands. “Okay, you’re creeping me out more than usual. You wanna tell us what the hell’s going on here?”
Spike pointed toward the clearing. “Demon.” He gestured toward himself and the others. “We kill demon. Or rather I kill demon. Simple enough plan, really, way I see it.”
Behind him, Spike heard Giles sigh. “Spike, while we appreciate the, er, vigor with which you approach such matters, we really ought to take a moment to assess the surroundings. We can’t merely rush in there willy-nilly, and --”
Spike began to laugh. “Did you just say ‘willy-nilly’?”
Giles glowered and took off his glasses. “I do so enjoy the way you choose to ignore what I have to say and instead latch onto mocking my syntax,” he muttered with annoyance.
“Uh, guys?” Willow piped up. “Wasn’t there something about a huge bonfire thing you mentioned?”
“Yeah,” Xander said. He nodded toward the clearing. “Over there, deer guy was…” His voice trailed off, and he looked at Spike, confused. “Wait, wasn’t it here?” he asked.
“’Course it was, not far from my crypt.”
“So, then, like, where’s the fire?” Willow asked.
Without exchanging a word, Spike and Xander both took off running.
“Giles!” Anya cried, swatting him on the arm. “Do something! I’m going to be very annoyed if a huge stag-like creature eviscerates my boyfriend.”
Giles rubbed his arm. “There’s no need to injure ME in the process, Anya,” he said. He cupped his hands around his mouth and called to them, but the two continued to sprint toward the clearing.
And suddenly came to an abrupt halt.
“It was here, swear to God it was here. Wasn’t it here?” Spike asked desperately.
“It was here,” Xander agreed.
“Well, where the bloody hell is it now?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m not daft, right? It WAS here, was it not?”
“No, it was here.”
They stared incredulously at the clearing, which was now completely empty.
“Bugger.”
“You can say that again.”
Spike opened his mouth.
“Not literally, please,” Xander interjected.
Spike shut his mouth again.
Xander spun around to the others, who were still standing back near the cemetery entrance. “Little help here, guys?” he called.
Spike quickly reached out his left hand and flicked Xander on the side of the head. Immediately, a brief jolt of electricity shot through his own head, and both men let out loud expressions of pain at the same time.
“What was that for?!”
“Harris, do you want ‘em to think we’ve gone ‘round the bend?” Spike hissed. “What proof do we have that there was anything there?”
“Uh, the proof that there WAS something there? Not even an hour ago?” Xander countered.
Giles, Willow, and Anya joined them. “Guys?” Willow asked. “Okay, what’s…”
“He’s gone!” Xander said, pointed exasperatedly at the clearing. “He’s packed up his evil kit and caboodle and split!”
“Told you we should’ve handled it ourselves,” Spike muttered. He withdrew a cigarette from his pocket and popped it into his mouth.
Anya stepped forward and peered through the shrubbery. “Wouldn’t there be cinders if there’d been a fire here?” she asked. “Because I’m not seeing any sign of anything. No charred wood, not even a scorch on the ground.”
Xander swept aside tree branches and bushes and trudged through to the other side. He crouched down, dropping out of sight.
Spike exhaled a smoke ring into the air. “Brilliant,” he said. “Just ruddy brilliant, this is. Should’ve smacked that git down long ago, but OH no, had to leave ‘er to ‘im and be all noble-like.” He started to pace.
“Spike, what ARE you on about?” Giles asked.
“Skip it, Watcher,” Spike replied dismissively. “Just…” He shrugged and took another drag from his cigarette, willing Giles to stop looking at him. It was unnerving as hell.
Xander emerged from the clearing. “There’s nothing there,” he said quietly, shaking his head in disbelief.
Anya patted his arm comfortingly. “You and Spike didn’t so much patrol as, say, have a few dozen pints of mind-altering liquids together, hmm?”
“No way!”
“It’s okay, sweetie. We won’t be mad,” Anya went on. “It’s been really stressful lately, what with the slaying and the fighting and the lack of… of, you know, people whose job this actually is.”
Spike felt a dull ache in the pit of his stomach.
“So you two hallucinated a ritual in the middle of a graveyard. It happens to the best of us.” Anya leaned over and gave Xander a quick peck on the cheek. “I think no less of you.”
“It was RIGHT HERE!” Xander insisted angrily. “It was chanting! Wasn’t it chanting?!”
Spike nodded, but stayed quiet.
“It was going to… to… tear our… arms off… or something!”
“Of course it was, Xander,” Anya said, her tone a little too syrupy. “Of course it was.”
The others drifted back toward the car, leaving Spike and Xander to stare defeatedly at the empty clearing.
“’S all right, Harris,” Spike said, almost affably. “If it’s any consolation, they really do that.”
“What?”
“Tear blokes’ arms off. Chaos bastards. For some reason, they love the sound of the ligaments tearin’.” He dropped his cigarette to the grass and stamped it out.
Xander sighed and began walking slowly toward the car. “Surprisingly enough, Spike, that’s not exactly comforting.”
“Well, can’t say I didn’t try.”