it's like a buddy movie (only without the buddy part)
Chapter Fifteen: The Fun Part
Xander officially gave up on the Willow Plan. This was getting them nowhere. Meanwhile, the demon might be about to turn everyone's brains to oatmeal. Or open the hellmouth. Or turn everybody in town into snails. And the fact that they still really had no clue about what was going on was very upsetting. "Okay, uh, guys? Thanks for the help and all, but I gotta go. To work. Yeah."
Spike got the signal for getting out of there. "Er, yeah, and I should get home. Daylight and all. Nasty stuff."
"Before waffles?" Willow grinned. "Not that there's any edible in there anymore."
"Think I'll pass." Xander picked up the sleeping bag and threw it at Spike. "You got enough to take care of this thing?"
"Yeah, got plenty of 'supplies' to get this guy."
"Get what guy?" Dawn asked. "You doing daytime slayage now?"
"Not at all, little bit. Don't you worry about it," Spike answered. "You just run back off to that store and be careful, you hear me? CAREFUL."
Dawn shrugged. "Whatever. I need to get back, anyway." She waved at them as she went out the door.
Willow stood up as well. "I should start waffle clean-up duty and I'd better do a little reprogramming, too. Have fun, guys!"
Xander sighed as Willow left the room. Fun. Right. And this whole visit was yet another total waste of time. He was out of ideas. He looked at Spike. "Okay, so now what?
"Now? We find and kill the bastard."
"But we still have the slight problem of not knowing where to find it. And nobody's gonna be helping us do the finding except us, which means we're out of shortcuts."
"True, that," Spike considered. "Best I can think of is try to find that horrid blue automobile of his. This town's not that big. And the car is that ugly. Sound worthy?"
"Don't think there's much else we could do."
Spike held his hand out. "Keys? Not gonna let you completely slaughter my car's transmission any more than you already have."
"Fine." Xander handed over the keys as Spike began to drape the sleeping bag over his head. "You ready?"
"As long as I don't get crispy, yeah."
Xander looked at Spike critically. The sun was fully up in the sky. And since sunset was about ten hours or so away, it was possible that the sleeping bag might not be enough, even if it was just to the car. "Hold on a sec."
"What now? Tick tock, time's a-wasting here."
"Just... wait." Xander went into the hallway and checked in the drawer of the table in the hall. He thought he remembered that... There. Found them. Xander grabbed the pair of gloves and threw them at Spike. "Here. Might help a little when we're in the sunny spots."
Spike looked down at the gloves with a surprised look on his face. "Er, thanks."
"Better you have as-unburnt-as-possible hands if we're the only ones going after this thing."
"You've got a point there." Spike put the gloves on a draped the the unzipped sleeping bag over his head. "Right, off to the car, then."
Xander opened the front door, and Spike dove into the sunlight and ran to his car. Kind of a funny sight, with the sleeping bag looking like a checkerboard cape and wisps a smoke coming out from underneath. He shut the door of the Summers house and followed him out to the waiting car.
Spike was settling into the driver's seat as Xander opened the passenger door - quickly - and got in. "Huh. Gloves are helpful. Should've thought of this ages ago."
"Yeah, you probably should've," Xander replied. "So, where are we starting the sweep? From where we lost him?"
"From where YOU lost him, you mean. And yeah, that's probably best." Spike started the car and headed in the direction of the area that they'd last seen the demon. "Bloke's somewhere. And my day won't be complete without bashing his skull into tiny bits."
"Nice to have a goal. 'Course, it's a possibility that we'll be the ones with bashed in skulls. I'd really rather get through the day without dying."
Spike glanced at Xander. "Part of the fun, though, innit? Not knowing what'll happen from one moment 'til the next?"
"I wouldn't call it fun. Just life, I guess."
"Aren't you the bleak little Scooby? Look, you could quite possibly die today. You could die any day, 'specially doing the fighting of the Forces of Darkness or whatnot that you do, and 'specially since you're decidedly lacking in much of anything that'll help keep you alive more than any other human out there. That gonna make you stop doing this?"
"No."
"Then why not enjoy it?" Spike grinned. "C'mon, lad, live for the moment. We're going into battle, here. THIS is how you feel alive."
"I already AM alive, Spike."
"Oh, come on. You know what I mean. The chaos demon ain't gonna be easy to take down. Uncertainty. Excitement. Makes existence worth existing in, I tell you."
"I usually settle for surviving. Which is on my to do list for today."
Spike sighed and shook his head. "Suit yourself. No fun, you are."
"Gee, so sorry to disappoint."
They drove down one street and up four more, in search of the Oldsmobile and/or the demon that might be inside it. Xander was having a lot of trouble staying awake. It'd been a really long night (and morning), and between the running, the arguing, the explaining, and the beer, he didn't have a lot of energy left in him. The just-sitting wasn't helping him stay awake. He kept fidgeting in his seat, trying to keep his eyes from closing and watching the cars that they passed. Suddenly, a mostly-empty lot showed a flash of light blue. "There!"
"Where?" Spike looked at the street in front of him. "You see him somewhere up ahead."
"No, on the right. That lot we just passed. That HAD to be the car."
Spike turned around and pulled into the parking lot. "What's this place, then?"
"It's an old public access television station. Shut down a few years ago. Guess cable had more stations from elsewhere - nobody wanted to watch what Sunnydale had to offer. Not like I blame them." Xander opened the door. "Wait here for a sec while I see if the door's open."
Xander grabbed his bag of weapons and attempted to look normal and nonchalant as he walked up to the door. He pulled on the handle, but no dice. It was locked. He peered through the glass to see if there was anybody in there. Nothing looked like it was moving.
He sighed. Guess there's only one option here. He pulled his axe out of his bag and broke the glass of the door, unlocking it from the inside. He opened the door and gestured for Spike to get a move on.
When Spike got inside the station, he waggled his finger at Xander. "I saw that, Harris. You broke into the place."
Xander glared at him, feeling more than a little embarrassed. "Yeah, fine, I did," he grumbled.
Spike held his hands up to his face in mock horror. "What'll your mates think?"
"Look, I'd appreciate you not spreading that around too much."
Spike laughed. "Truth be told, I'm rather proud of you for it."
"My day is complete. Can we get moving, here?"
Spike nodded, grin off of his face. Good. "I think I can smell the bugger. This way." He started down one of the hallways.
Xander followed. "So, when we find this guy, how d'you think we should do the attack?"
"I'd say best bet would be to attack from two sides at the same time, divide his attention."
"So, basically, we have to work together."
"Yeah, that we do."
"This'll be harder than I thought."
They turned a corner and were faced with a pair of large doors standing open in front of them. Spike and Xander each took a side and glanced inside. It looked like some sort of control room, with dusty television screens and controls that did who knows what. In the center of the room, in the process of lighting a circle of candles, was the Chaos demon.
Spike glanced at Xander, and they split up, each moving to one side. They quietly moved to opposite sides of the room, weapons out and ready. He nodded to Spike when he was in position. Time to get this over with.
Spike spoke up - oh, great, there went the element of surprise. "Best stop what you're doing right there, mate."
We're dead, Xander thought. So very, very dead.
The demon looked up in surprise, and then began to bellow, "No! You will not stop me. 'Beauty and the Beast' shall be reborn!"
Xander and Spike both blinked in unison. Xander spoke first. "Sorry, but... Huh?"
"'Beauty and the Beast.' It shall live again!" the demon replied, slight less menacing than he had a moment before.
"The Disney movie?" Xander asked, confused.
"Uh, no. That film needs no help from the demon realm," it answered. "No, I'm obviously referring to the television show. No singing teapots or dancing flatware."
Xander though for a second. "You mean... the one with the chick from 'Terminator?'"
"That's the one. I shall bring it back from its untimely demise, and you shall not stop me!"
"And we'd want to... Why?" Xander replied. "We're more into stopping the end of the world or other actual evil-doing."
"End of the world?" The demon laughed. "Oh, that's rich. Why would I want to do that?"
"Well, you know." Xander shrugged. "You, a demon, doing a big bad ritual... Honest mistake to make, I guess."
Spike seemed to be having a little more trouble with this concept. "We went to all this trouble to stop a bloke tryin' to resurrect some bleedin' television program?" he blinked. "That's IT?"
The demon looked chagrined. "Well, see, I always though they never gave that one a chance. It had everything. Misunderstood monster, Linda Hamilton... their mysterious love child... and none of the storylines were wrapped up with any satisfaction whatsoever."
Xander blinked. This still made no sense. "So, hold on. That's all you're doing? Then what's with the posse you had over at the taco shop?
"Well, the show is big in the demon community. Very popular. It has a lot of fans out there who are supporting my work, and they didn't want anyone to interfere."
"And the memory drain to everybody else?"
"Just a side effect of the preliminary spell to imbue me with the required powers. Nothing to worry about. It does no harm to those affected."
Xander tossed his axe into his bag. Enough was enough. "I'm voting for homeward bound-ness. Now."
"All this for some show on the telly," Spike repeated in disbelief. "It's just... SAD, really."
The demon shrugged.
"How were you even goin' about the whole project, mate?"
"Oh, the usual way," the demon replied. "Chant some stuff. Sacrifice a virgin or twelve, create some portals to hell dimensions, tear apart the fabric of space and time. Nothing big."
Xander sighed and pulled his axe out of his bag again. "I'm gonna be late for dinner, huh?"
"Looks like," Spike said, his shoulders sagging. "Right, then."
They nodded to each other from across the room and charged forward.