l'androise blanc

Chapter Six: Abandon

Six pairs of eyes bored into Willow until she couldn't take it anymore. "I don't know what I did!" she insisted. "I don't remember!"

"Spike said this happened yesterday," Giles said. "Did anything unusual occur?"

Willow ran through her day. "Boring Tuesday. Breakfast, chemistry lab, library, home, ordered pizza, watched TV, went to bed."

"No spells?"

"Not a one. At least none that I did." Willow turned to Tara.

"Don't look at me," Tara said. "I was at study group all night. Totally normal student people quizzing each other for our Renaissance Literature final. There was nothing magical about Christopher Marlowe at all." She gave a weak, guilty smile. "I fell asleep halfway through the discussion anyway."

"Dawn," Giles said suddenly.

"What about her?" Willow asked.

"She had some kind of dream today while she was sick," Tara explained. "Really scared me." She briefly described Dawn's behavior and the things she'd said before waking. "I called Giles to come over, and that's when he brought that girl Buffy with him."

"Dawnie was really working the space cadet routine," Xander chimed in. "I've never seen her like that."

"I do believe we have a place to start," Giles said decisively. "Tara, why don't you go pick her up from home, the rest of us will see if we can't find something on memory spells."

From behind the counter, Anya cleared her throat, and Giles turned his attention to her.

"It's not so much a spell," she said softly. "Your friend Dawn, she mentioned 'tabula rasa'?"

Tara nodded. "She said that 'tabula rasa' --"

" -- is only half of it."

Tara's eyes widened. "That's right! That's what she said!"

"That's because it is only half of it. It's a summoner's device. 'Tabula rasa, l'androise blanc, may the mind fill itself with its deepest want.'"

Everyone stared at her.

"Oh," Anya said, slightly cowed. "Did I forget to mention that until this morning I was a vengeance demon?"

***

When Tara returned with Dawn, the others were gathered around the table listening intently to Anya.

"I should've known Halfrek had something to do with this, she acted positively smug when I ran into her."

"And Halfrek is... ?" Xander asked.

"Another vengeance demon."

"Of course! Why didn't I realize?"

Anya shot him a look, and he quieted. "Lots of folks make the same mistake Willow probably did..."

"I didn't do anything!"

"Sure you did," Anya said, patting her hand. "You just don't remember. It's okay, I think I can undo the horrible reality-altering mess you made."

Willow made a tiny noise like a wounded animal.

"Anyway," Anya continued, "the incantation appears mistranslated and misinterpreted as a memory spell in several older editions of some of the more pedestrian texts. In its original, it does the same job of causing forgetfulness, but if the person casting the spell breaks the talisman, it summons a vengeance demon to bring into effect the strongest unconscious desire of the first person affected by it."

From the corner of the room, Dawn spoke: "No way."

"Beg pardon?" Giles asked.

"I don't know Buffy," Dawn admitted, "but Tara said she's my sister, and if that's true, then that means she didn't want me to know that, know her. She wanted us to forget her."

"Not consciously," Anya explained. "But, yes, some small part of her did, and her wish was granted."

"My mother just died," Dawn said. "If I had a sister, why would she want to abandon me, too?"

***

Spike followed Buffy as far as the basement door. "Leave you here, pet," he said. "Just let me know how it works out, right? Give me that bit of comfort?"

"Spike, I meant what I said," Buffy informed him. "I'll come back to you."

He nodded, but she could tell he didn't believe her. "As soon as it's over," she said. "I'll come back."

Spike gestured to the door. "Well, go on, then," he replied. "See if they've worked it out, and I... I'll see you soon."

She grasped him by the lapels of his duster and kissed him, then slipped through the door.

When it was shut, she leaned against it briefly, fingers against her lips. With mounting dread, she entered the main room of the shop.

A woman Buffy didn't recognize stood talking to Anya, her arms folded across her chest. "She wished it," the woman said. "If we all keep reversing things willy nilly, we'd all wind up like you, Anyanka. I really don't want to get on D'Hoffryn's bad side! I just got a promotion!"

"Halfrek!" Anya glared at the woman.

The woman gestured toward Buffy. "Let me hear it from the girl herself. Then maybe we'll see."

"Me?" Buffy asked weakly. "What do I --"

Anya threw up her hands. "You there, little miss forget me not," she said. "Did you want everybody to not know you existed?"

"No!" Buffy answered. "A - at least I don't think I did..."

Halfrek stepped closer to Buffy, studying her carefully. "Darn it!" she exclaimed after a moment. "This is what I get for trying to do things with my messenger instead of directly."

Anya gasped. "You got a messenger?! I never got a messenger!"

Xander raised his hand. "What's a messenger?"

"Little beam of light thing, goes around and does the dirty work for you," Anya said. "Very handy, but sometimes not as accurate as talking to the subject in person."

"But you must admit they're very pretty," Halfrek smiled. She looked at Buffy. "You did want to put some things behind you, though, that I can tell. You wanted a fresh start. My messenger was over-eager."

"Can you fix it?" Willow asked.

"I really shouldn't. What's done is done."

"Hallie..." Anya's voice was brittle.

"If I do this, you owe me one, Anyanka." Halfrek swept her arms into the air and disappeared in a puff of white smoke.

Buffy coughed, and blinked against the small explosion. "Did it work?" she asked in gasping breaths.

Dawn rushing to embrace her was answer enough.